The Rules of Grandma's House (die Regeln in Omas Haus)
Every family has rules (jede Familie hat Regeln). The Pemberton family had more rules (die Familie Pemberton hatte mehr Regeln) than most (als die meisten). And every single one of them was about a dog (und jede einzelne davon drehte sich um einen Hund).
The dog was a Yorkshire Terrier named Wellington (der Hund war ein Yorkshire Terrier namens Wellington). He weighed two and a half kilos (er wog zweieinhalb Kilo). He had a silky brown and gold coat (er hatte ein seidiges braun-goldenes Fell; silky — seidig; silk — Seide; coat — Fell), a small black nose (eine kleine schwarze Nase), and the attitude of a Roman emperor (und das Gebaren eines römischen Kaisers; attitude — Gebaren, Haltung, Auftreten). He belonged to Dorothy Pemberton (er gehörte Dorothy Pemberton) — Grandma Dot (Oma Dot) — who was seventy-eight years old (die achtundsiebzig Jahre alt war), five feet tall (einen Meter fünfzig groß; feet — Fuß /engl. Längenmaß, ≈ 30 cm/), and absolutely terrifying (und absolut furchteinflößend; to terrify — erschrecken, Angst einjagen).
The Rules of Grandma's House
Every family has rules. The Pemberton family had more rules than most. And every single one of them was about a dog.
The dog was a Yorkshire Terrier named Wellington. He weighed two and a half kilos. He had a silky brown and gold coat, a small black nose, and the attitude of a Roman emperor. He belonged to Dorothy Pemberton — Grandma Dot — who was seventy-eight years old, five feet tall, and absolutely terrifying.
"Wellington sits in the green armchair (Wellington sitzt im grünen Sessel; armchair — Sessel; chair — Stuhl)," Grandma Dot explained (erklärte Oma Dot; to explain — erklären, erläutern) to anyone (jedem) who visited (der zu Besuch kam; to visit — besuchen). "Nobody else sits in the green armchair (sonst sitzt niemand im grünen Sessel). Ever (niemals)."
The green armchair stood by the fireplace in Grandma Dot's cottage in the village of Fairford (der grüne Sessel stand am Kamin in Oma Dots Cottage im Dorf Fairford; fireplace — Kamin; fire — Feuer; place — Platz, Stelle; cottage — Häuschen, kleines Landhaus). It had a velvet cushion (es hatte ein Samtkissen), a cashmere blanket (eine Kaschmirdecke; blanket — Decke), and a small step (und eine kleine Stufe; step — Stufe, Tritt) so that Wellington could climb up without effort (damit Wellington mühelos hinaufklettern konnte; effort — Anstrengung, Mühe). The armchair was (der Sessel war), without question (ohne Frage), the best seat in the house (der beste Platz im Haus; seat — Platz, Sitz).
"Wellington sits in the green armchair," Grandma Dot explained to anyone who visited. "Nobody else sits in the green armchair. Ever."
The green armchair stood by the fireplace in Grandma Dot's cottage in the village of Fairford. It had a velvet cushion, a cashmere blanket, and a small step so that Wellington could climb up without effort. The armchair was, without question, the best seat in the house.
"Wellington eats his dinner at six o'clock (Wellington frisst um sechs Uhr zu Abend; to eat — essen; /bei Tieren:/ fressen; dinner — Abendessen)," Grandma Dot continued (fuhr Oma Dot fort; to continue — fortfahren, fortsetzen, weitermachen). "Nobody eats before Wellington (niemand isst vor Wellington). It upsets his digestion (das verdirbt ihm die Verdauung; to upset — stören, durcheinanderbringen; digestion — Verdauung; to digest — verdauen)."
"Wellington does not like loud noises (Wellington mag keine lauten Geräusche; noise — Geräusch, Lärm), sudden movements (keine plötzlichen Bewegungen; sudden — plötzlich; movement — Bewegung; to move — bewegen), or people (oder keine Menschen) who smell of other animals (die nach anderen Tieren riechen; to smell of — riechen nach; to smell — riechen). Wellington does not like the colour orange (Wellington mag die Farbe Orange nicht). Wellington does not like draughts (Wellington mag keine Zugluft; draught — Zugluft, Durchzug)."
The list went on (die Liste ging weiter). There were seventeen rules in total (insgesamt gab es siebzehn Regeln; in total — insgesamt). Grandma Dot's three children (Oma Dots drei Kinder) — Margaret, Tom, and Rebecca (Margaret, Tom und Rebecca) — had memorised them all (hatten sie alle auswendig gelernt; to memorise — auswendig lernen, sich einprägen).
"Wellington eats his dinner at six o'clock," Grandma Dot continued. "Nobody eats before Wellington. It upsets his digestion."
"Wellington does not like loud noises, sudden movements, or people who smell of other animals. Wellington does not like the colour orange. Wellington does not like draughts."
The list went on. There were seventeen rules in total. Grandma Dot's three children — Margaret, Tom, and Rebecca — had memorised them all.
Margaret's husband, Colin, had learned the rules the hard way (Margarets Ehemann Colin hatte die Regeln auf die harte Tour gelernt; the hard way — auf die harte Tour, durch Schaden). On an early visit (bei einem frühen Besuch), soon after the chair had become Wellington's (kurz nachdem der Sessel Wellingtons geworden war; soon after — kurz nachdem), he had sat in it (hatte er sich hineingesetzt; to sit — sitzen, sich setzen). The silence (die Stille; silence — Stille, Schweigen) that followed was the longest thirty seconds of his life (die folgte, waren die längsten dreißig Sekunden seines Lebens). Grandma Dot had looked at him (Oma Dot hatte ihn angesehen; to look at — ansehen, anschauen) as though he had set fire to the curtains (als hätte er die Vorhänge angezündet; as though — als ob; to set fire to sth. — etw. in Brand setzen, anzünden).
"That (das)," she had said quietly (hatte sie leise gesagt; quietly — leise, ruhig; quiet — still, ruhig), "is Wellington's chair (ist Wellingtons Sessel)."
Colin had never sat in it again (Colin hatte nie wieder darin gesessen). He had never sat in any chair at Grandma Dot's house (er hatte sich in Oma Dots Haus nie auf irgendeinen Stuhl gesetzt) without checking first (ohne sich vorher zu vergewissern; to check — prüfen, kontrollieren, sich vergewissern).
Margaret's husband, Colin, had learned the rules the hard way. On an early visit, soon after the chair had become Wellington's, he had sat in it. The silence that followed was the longest thirty seconds of his life. Grandma Dot had looked at him as though he had set fire to the curtains.
"That," she had said quietly, "is Wellington's chair."
Colin had never sat in it again. He had never sat in any chair at Grandma Dot's house without checking first.
Rebecca had made a different mistake (Rebecca hatte einen anderen Fehler gemacht). She had arrived wearing perfume (sie war mit Parfüm gekommen; to arrive — ankommen, eintreffen; to wear — tragen, anhaben).
"Wellington is sensitive to artificial scents (Wellington reagiert empfindlich auf künstliche Düfte; sensitive — empfindlich, empfindsam; scent — Duft, Geruch)," Grandma Dot had announced (hatte Oma Dot verkündet; to announce — verkünden, ankündigen, bekannt geben), opening every window in the cottage despite it being January (und öffnete dabei jedes Fenster im Cottage, obwohl Januar war; despite — trotz; /hier:/ obwohl).
Rebecca had been sent home (Rebecca war nach Hause geschickt worden; to send — schicken, senden) before she had even taken off her coat (noch bevor sie ihren Mantel ausgezogen hatte; even — sogar, auch nur; to take off — ausziehen, ablegen). Grandma Dot aired the house for twenty minutes afterwards (Oma Dot lüftete das Haus danach zwanzig Minuten lang; to air — lüften; air — Luft; afterwards — danach, hinterher). Rebecca never wore perfume to Grandma Dot's again (Rebecca trug bei Oma Dot nie wieder Parfüm).
Rebecca had made a different mistake. She had arrived wearing perfume.
"Wellington is sensitive to artificial scents," Grandma Dot had announced, opening every window in the cottage despite it being January.
Rebecca had been sent home before she had even taken off her coat. Grandma Dot aired the house for twenty minutes afterwards. Rebecca never wore perfume to Grandma Dot's again.
Rebecca's husband, Steve, had committed the worst crime of all (Rebeccas Ehemann Steve hatte das schlimmste Verbrechen von allen begangen; to commit — begehen, verüben; crime — Verbrechen, Straftat). He had given Wellington a biscuit from the table during Sunday lunch (er hatte Wellington beim Sonntagsessen einen Keks vom Tisch gegeben; biscuit — Keks, Plätzchen; lunch — Mittagessen).
"We do not feed Wellington human food (wir füttern Wellington kein menschliches Essen; to feed — füttern, ernähren)," Grandma Dot had said (hatte Oma Dot gesagt), her voice like winter (ihre Stimme wie Winter). "Wellington has a carefully balanced diet (Wellington hat eine sorgfältig ausgewogene Ernährung) prepared by his veterinary nutritionist (die von seinem Tierernährungsberater zusammengestellt wurde)."
Steve had apologised four times (Steve hatte sich viermal entschuldigt). It was still not enough (es reichte immer noch nicht: „war immer noch nicht genug"; still — noch, immer noch). Three years later (drei Jahre später), Grandma Dot still watched him during meals (beobachtete Oma Dot ihn beim Essen immer noch; to watch — beobachten, zusehen; meal — Mahlzeit, Essen).
The grandchildren (die Enkelkinder) — Oliver and little Rosie (Oliver und die kleine Rosie) — had grown up with the rules (waren mit den Regeln aufgewachsen; to grow up — aufwachsen; to grow — wachsen). They accepted them the way children accept gravity (sie nahmen sie hin, wie Kinder die Schwerkraft hinnehmen; to accept — annehmen, hinnehmen, akzeptieren; the way — so wie, auf die Art wie). Wellington came first (Wellington kam zuerst). This was simply (das war einfach) how the world worked (wie die Welt funktionierte; to work — funktionieren, arbeiten).
Rebecca's husband, Steve, had committed the worst crime of all. He had given Wellington a biscuit from the table during Sunday lunch.
"We do not feed Wellington human food," Grandma Dot had said, her voice like winter. "Wellington has a carefully balanced diet prepared by his veterinary nutritionist."
Steve had apologised four times. It was still not enough. Three years later, Grandma Dot still watched him during meals.
The grandchildren — Oliver and little Rosie — had grown up with the rules. They accepted them the way children accept gravity. Wellington came first. This was simply how the world worked.
"He's a tiny dog (er ist ein winziger Hund; tiny — winzig, sehr klein)," Colin once whispered to Margaret in the car (flüsterte Colin einmal im Auto zu Margaret) after Sunday lunch (nach dem Sonntagsessen). "He's smaller (er ist kleiner) than my shoe (als mein Schuh)."
"Don't let Mum hear you say that (lass das bloß nicht Mama hören)," Margaret whispered back (flüsterte Margaret zurück).
"I'm just saying (ich sag ja nur; just — nur, bloß). The dog has a better life (der Hund hat ein besseres Leben) than I do (als ich). He has a cashmere blanket (er hat eine Kaschmirdecke). I don't have a cashmere blanket (ich habe keine Kaschmirdecke)."
"Colin, drop it (Colin, lass es gut sein; to drop it — das Thema fallen lassen, aufhören; to drop — fallen lassen)." She looked out at the passing hedges (sie sah hinaus auf die vorbeiziehenden Hecken; to look out — hinaussehen, hinausschauen; passing — vorbeiziehend; to pass — vorbeigehen, vergehen. "It's not really about the blanket (es geht nicht wirklich um die Decke; to be about sth. — um etw. gehen, von etw. handeln)."
Colin dropped it (Colin ließ es gut sein). Everyone always dropped it (alle ließen es immer gut sein). Because arguing with Grandma Dot about Wellington was like arguing with the sea about the tide (denn mit Oma Dot über Wellington zu streiten war, wie mit dem Meer über die Gezeiten zu streiten; to argue — streiten, sich streiten, diskutieren; tide — Gezeiten, Ebbe und Flut). Completely, entirely (vollkommen, gänzlich; completely — vollkommen, völlig; entirely — gänzlich, völlig), magnificently pointless (grandios sinnlos; magnificently — grandios, großartig; pointless — sinnlos, zwecklos; point — /hier:/ Sinn, Zweck).
"He's a tiny dog," Colin once whispered to Margaret in the car after Sunday lunch. "He's smaller than my shoe."
"Don't let Mum hear you say that," Margaret whispered back.
"I'm just saying. The dog has a better life than I do. He has a cashmere blanket. I don't have a cashmere blanket."
"Colin, drop it." She looked out at the passing hedges. "It's not really about the blanket."
Colin dropped it. Everyone always dropped it. Because arguing with Grandma Dot about Wellington was like arguing with the sea about the tide. Completely, entirely, magnificently pointless.
And Wellington (und Wellington)? Wellington sat in his green armchair (Wellington saß in seinem grünen Sessel), watched the family with his small dark eyes (beobachtete die Familie mit seinen kleinen dunklen Augen), and understood everything (und verstand alles). He was king (er war der König). They were his subjects (sie waren seine Untertanen). And as long as Grandma Dot was in charge (und solange Oma Dot das Sagen hatte; as long as — solange; to be in charge — das Sagen haben, verantwortlich sein), absolutely nothing was going to change (würde sich rein gar nichts ändern; to be going to — werden /Zukunft/; to change — sich ändern, wechseln).
And Wellington? Wellington sat in his green armchair, watched the family with his small dark eyes, and understood everything. He was king. They were his subjects. And as long as Grandma Dot was in charge, absolutely nothing was going to change.